Thursday, March 18, 2010

Honest Scrap

Jingle has proffered me the Honest Scrap award. I'm now supposed to offer up 7 scraps of riveting information about myself. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Let me see. Long-time readers of this blog know my shoe size, the distance from my wrist to the tip of my index finger, the fact that I once worked in the home improvements section of a discount department store, and my favorite color--all of them. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Oh yeah, you also know I grew up in the circus and was born breech. I'm an open book. What else can I reveal?

  1. When I was a kid I had a trick knee. If I knelt, it would lock. This meant that for the pivotal kneeling scene in my role as an angel in the Christmas play, I had a stunt angel.
  2. I have won three prizes in my lifetime: a blue bedspread when I was in the fourth grade, a round-trip plane ticket to San Francisco when I was 28, and just recently, $1.00 at the grocery store in the Lucky Dollars event. Scratch that last prize. Everyone who purchased $10,000.00 in groceries during a six-week period was guaranteed a minimum prize of $1.00. What can I say? I may not be the luckiest knife in the drawer, but I recognize a deal.
  3. Every time I purchase 28 pounds of bird feed at Sam's Club, I feel all warm and fuzzy. Not because of the hungry birds lining up at the feeders in my backyard, but because the CEO of Sam's owns one of my paintings.
  4. I have a dark, deep, irrational, devastatingly embarrassing fear--please don't tell anyone--that one of my paintings is hanging in the Salvation Army Thrift Store in Bentonville, Arkansas.
  5. The price tag on the painting is less than that on the 28-pound box of birdfeed displayed artistically beside it.
  6. The birdfeed is snapped up by a savvy bargain hunter. "Hey, this beats Sam's Club! But get a load of the tab on that painting--$29.99! Who are they kidding? My parakeet could do that. Hell, my parakeet could do better than that!!
  7. I have a proclivity to twisted, paranoid fantasies.

Now I'm to pass this award on to seven bloggers who are to reveal 7 scraps of truths about themselves. Do the math. That makes for 49 juicy tidbits. Let's go for broke. Anybody reading this who wants this award on their blog and is prepared to dish up the truths, just comment here, expressing your intentions. We're all ears.