Okay, so I got this report card in the mail. It came from my "amazing offspring" and was quite a convincing replica of a real live report card. It was in honor of my birthday. I am pleased to report I got quite high marks. I was even designated an "honors" student. But F- in Generosity of Heart? My little pretties, what is the meaning of this? Couldn't you at least have put that one on a curve?
I do glory in some of my other grades:
Experience Stockpile (A+), with the comment "Well Prepared."
Insight into Complexity (A+), again with the comment "Well Prepared."
Ability to Adventure (A+), same comment
Dream Cultivation (ditto)
I am a bit bummed to get a mere B+ in Small-Stuff Nonsweating but take heart in the comment "Work Improving."
I am not sure what to make of getting an N in Corporeal Elasticity and Resistance to Gravity. This, according to the chart at the bottom, means "Incomplete or Not Applicable." Which??? Incomplete?? Or Not Applicable??
And of course I take considerable pride in not only getting A+ in "Storytelling Vigor" but also the comment "crazed." That's more like it, my little pretties. And thanks a million for the "Satisfactory" in Hygiene.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Acknowledging receipt of my report card...
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6 comments:
I, too, question the F in "Generosity of the Heart." After, hmmm, some 33 years or so of knowing you (HOLY SMOKES!), I would have given you at least an A. As for the "corporeal elasticity" thing--you little pretties, God willing, will one day be 54. See if gravity is YOUR friend then! Of course, you'll probably be able to get your lifts and tucks in a simple, cheap pill by then. . . .
Wow. I thought they were kidding. I assumed they regarded me as so perfect, they had to throw in a token "F" to spice things up and make me laugh. Whatever. I am touched by your "A" and will dutifully try to bring it up to "A+"
Here's to another 33 years of friendship...
Cheers!
First of all, I think I speak for the both of us when I say that "Little Pretties," is most degrading. What are you, the wicked witch of the Southwest? See, there's that generosity of heart thing again...well not quite, but this behavior is certainly counter to the characteristics of a generous person. But seriously, we can't give you all A's! And that B for small stuff non-sweating was also just to mix things up a bit. Variety is the spice of life, you know. I wanted to give you a bad mark for hygiene as well, but I had already checked satisfactory. And those N grades stand for Not Applicable. This is a report of character, not image. But if I were to go there, I'd say your holding up quite well.
Bear in mind I will be gazing deep into my crystal ball at you, MLP, as you run the 5K this Sunday. You, and your little dog too.
I felt that the report card did not altogether reflect your potential. Teachers grade hard these days; must be due to Bush's No Child Left Untested, er, i mean, No Child Left Behind.
Also, I just wondered because I'm hot on your heels, age-wise--does one need a permit from the fire dept to light all the candles at once? A blog is a WONDERFUL way to start a new year, San!! Best wishes.
Deborah,
Since you're a real live teacher, I will take your words to heart. I am glad that you're back in New Mexico! We'll have to get together SOON.
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